What Are Suicidal Thoughts and Temptations?

Suicidal thoughts and temptations refer to feelings of wanting to end one’s life, either through ideation (thinking about suicide) or planning and considering actions to carry it out. These thoughts can range from fleeting, passing ideas to persistent, overwhelming urges. Suicidal thoughts are often a sign of deep emotional pain and hopelessness and may arise when a person feels unable to cope with life’s difficulties or believes there is no escape from their suffering.

Suicidal ideation can be passive (wishing you were dead without active plans) or active (thinking about and making plans to end your life). Suicidal temptations or urges involve a stronger compulsion to act on these thoughts.

Why Do Suicidal Thoughts and Temptations Happen?

Suicidal thoughts and urges can be triggered by a variety of emotional, psychological, or situational factors. Common causes include:

• Depression: Severe depression often leads to feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness, and despair, which can trigger suicidal thoughts. People may feel that their emotional pain is unbearable or that they’re a burden to others.

• Trauma or abuse: Experiencing trauma, especially childhood trauma, sexual abuse, or ongoing domestic violence, can lead to suicidal ideation as a way of escaping emotional pain.

• Mental health conditions: Conditions such as anxiety disorders, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder (BPD), post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and schizophrenia are often associated with suicidal thoughts, especially during periods of intense emotional distress.

• Chronic pain or illness: People dealing with chronic pain, terminal illness, or other severe physical conditions may feel that life is unbearable and consider suicide as a way out.

• Substance use: Drugs and alcohol can impair judgment, increase impulsivity, and intensify emotional pain, contributing to suicidal thoughts and behaviors.

• Feelings of isolation or loneliness: People who feel socially disconnected or isolated may experience deep loneliness and despair, which can contribute to suicidal thoughts.

• Life crises: Events such as losing a loved one, divorce, financial problems, unemployment, or other major life changes can trigger overwhelming stress and suicidal ideation.

• Feelings of guilt or shame: Intense guilt, shame, or self-blame—especially after a perceived failure, mistake, or loss—can lead to suicidal thoughts as the person struggles to see a way forward.

• Hopelessness: One of the most common predictors of suicidal ideation is a sense of hopelessness, where a person feels there is no future, no way out of their suffering, or no reason to live.

How Suicidal Thoughts and Temptations Affect You:

• Emotionally: Suicidal thoughts can cause intense sadness, hopelessness, or anger, along with feelings of being overwhelmed or trapped. There may also be feelings of guilt, shame, or worthlessness.

• Mentally: Suicidal ideation can take over a person’s thinking, making it hard to focus on anything else. It may lead to rumination, where you repeatedly think about death or how to end your life.

• Physically: Suicidal thoughts can lead to physical symptoms like fatigue, muscle tension, headaches, or changes in appetite and sleep patterns. You may feel drained or physically weak due to the emotional burden.

• Socially: People experiencing suicidal thoughts often withdraw from friends, family, and social activities, either because they feel like a burden or because they find it difficult to engage with others when feeling overwhelmed by emotional pain.

How to Improve and Get Help

1. Reach Out to Someone You Trust

• Suicidal thoughts can feel overwhelming, but talking to someone can help. Reach out to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist. Let them know how you’re feeling and that you need support. Even if it feels difficult, sharing your thoughts with others can relieve some of the emotional burden.

• If you don’t feel comfortable talking to someone you know, consider reaching out to a suicide prevention hotline, such as the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-TALK or 988 in the U.S.), where trained counselors can offer immediate support.

2. Create a Safety Plan

• A safety plan is a step-by-step guide for what to do when suicidal thoughts arise. Include phone numbers of trusted people you can call, coping strategies (such as grounding techniques or distractions), and reasons to keep going. Having a plan in place can give you a sense of control and help you resist the temptation to act on suicidal thoughts.

• Share your safety plan with someone close to you so they can assist when needed.

3. Focus on Distraction and Grounding Techniques

• When suicidal thoughts become intense, distracting yourself with activities that engage your mind and body can help. Try simple, low-pressure tasks like watching a comforting show, coloring, going for a walk, or talking to a friend. Engaging in something physical or creative can provide temporary relief from distressing thoughts.

• Grounding techniques—such as focusing on your senses, breathing deeply, or holding a cold object—can help bring your focus back to the present moment and reduce the intensity of overwhelming thoughts.

4. Remove Means of Harm

• If you’re feeling tempted to act on suicidal thoughts, it’s important to remove or restrict access to items that could cause harm, such as medications, sharp objects, or firearms. If possible, give these items to someone you trust or store them in a secure, inaccessible place.

• Creating physical distance between yourself and harmful means can reduce the likelihood of acting impulsively.

5. Challenge Negative Thinking

• Suicidal thoughts often arise from distorted thinking patterns, such as believing that you’re a burden or that things will never get better. When these thoughts arise, try to challenge them by asking yourself:

  • "Is this thought based on facts or assumptions?"

  • "What would I say to a friend who was thinking this way?"

  • "Is there another way to look at this situation?"

• It can also help to write down your thoughts and then list reasons why they may not be entirely true.

6. Focus on Reasons to Live

• When experiencing suicidal thoughts, it can be helpful to remind yourself of reasons to stay alive, even if they seem small. Think about the people who care about you, activities that bring you joy, or future goals and dreams.

• Writing down these reasons or creating a visual reminder (like a collage or journal) can help ground you in moments of crisis and remind you that there are positive aspects to life, even if they feel distant.

7. Seek Professional Help

• If you’re struggling with persistent suicidal thoughts, seeking professional help from a therapist, counselor, or psychiatrist is essential. Therapy can help you explore the underlying causes of your thoughts and develop healthier coping strategies. Therapies like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) are particularly effective for reducing suicidal ideation and building emotional resilience.

• Medication, such as antidepressants or mood stabilizers, may be prescribed if you’re experiencing severe depression, anxiety, or another mental health condition contributing to suicidal thoughts.

8. Practice Self-Compassion

• Be kind to yourself during this difficult time. Suicidal thoughts often arise when you’re feeling overwhelmed or hopeless, but remember that having these thoughts doesn’t mean you’re weak or flawed. They are a signal that you’re in deep emotional pain and need support.

• Practice self-compassion by speaking to yourself in a gentle, understanding way. Remind yourself that it’s okay to ask for help and that you deserve care and healing.

9. Avoid Substance Use

• Drugs and alcohol can intensify suicidal thoughts and lower inhibitions, making it more likely that you’ll act on those thoughts. If you’re struggling with substance use, seek support to reduce or quit. Consider attending a support group or seeking treatment for substance use alongside your mental health care.

• In moments of temptation, avoid using substances as a coping mechanism, as this can exacerbate emotional distress.

10. Focus on Small Steps

• When you’re feeling overwhelmed, try to focus on small, manageable steps rather than the bigger picture. This can help reduce the sense of hopelessness that comes from trying to solve everything at once. Focus on getting through the next hour, the next day, or even the next few minutes.

• Break down tasks or problems into smaller parts and give yourself permission to take it one step at a time.

When to Seek Immediate Help

If you’re experiencing intense suicidal thoughts, have a plan, or feel that you may act on these thoughts, it’s critical to seek immediate help. Contact a suicide prevention hotline, go to the nearest emergency room, or call 911 (or your country’s emergency services). Immediate intervention can save your life and help you get the support you need.

Conclusion

Suicidal thoughts and temptations are serious, but they are treatable with the right support. Reaching out to others, creating a safety plan, using grounding techniques, and seeking professional help can provide relief from the emotional pain that leads to these thoughts. You don’t have to go through this alone—there are people and resources available to help you navigate through this difficult time. With the right care, it is possible to heal, find hope, and move toward a better future.